Satire (or is it?) Submitted by 'Patrick Humpty'The New York City Council got a little less diverse last week, losing it's pink tinge, befitting the body that represents Maspeth, Middle Village, Glendale and Ridgewood along with every other neighborhood in the city.
The City Council is considered the arm of the city government in which members are elected by the people they represent to make sure city services are on track with the wants and needs of the residents who live there. Council members have a 'say' through votes on zoning issues, transportation,traffic, housing, sanitation, public safety and City Parks. Each of these services has a Council committee. The Council typically issues priorities on capital projects and funding for city services. Each of the 51 districts in the city has a member, of which one is elected by that board to serve as its leader - to shape the committees and the direction of its focus.
In a vote that took place at the NYC Council on Monday, August 6th, a unanimous decision of 37-0 of the members present was made to strip accused rapist, Councilman Dennis Gallagher of the Council's 30th District in Queens, of his committee posts.
"I have been a drunk all my life," said Gallagher. "I think the council is a great way for people such as myself, who have no skills whatsoever save lying, drinking, cheating and taking graft, to make $112K of easy money. The committees I was a member of are breathing a sigh of relief without me in there."
Along with his goal of securing more bribes while pretending to represent neighborhoods such as Glendale, Gallagher said he also ran because the intern pools are composed primarily of young women.
Gallagher claimed his removal was a complete surprise, and said he would need the first part of the rest of his term just to consider how best to exact revenge on his colleagues and his community. He promised to continue to ignore his neighborhoods' traffic problems, including poor signage on Putnam Ave., Decatur St., and Traffic Ave, and trucks that occasionally ride the sidewalks.
Laughing at the sentiments of his community boards, Gallagher swore to ignore local problems, and to not listen to the people's needs above all. "Part of my job as a leader is to give a chance to others to take over so that I don't have to do anything," Gallagher said. "In my twenty years of public service, I think there are more leaders on the 51-person council now than ever before. They were feeling brought down by me, and I think their votes showed that [tonight]."
With regards to the Council's ousting of Gallagher, Bob Holden - who is publisher of the Juniper Berry - credited members becoming disenchanted with Gallagher's personal attacks against him and others who might dare have differed on how to plan for the future of the neighborhood. A series of personal attacks have been regularly published on Gallagher's council stationery and through blogusations on anonymous blogs allegedly operated by Gallagher's allies.
For Gallagher, however, the evening was doubly disappointing; after failing to retain his council committee membership, he also was forced to give up his position as Minority Whip, and lost $5,000 that came along with the post (Gallagher vowed, however, that he will continue to use a pink leather whip in the back room of his taxpayer funded office). Fellow Republican Councilman James Dodo, who was on-hand, agreed that Gallagher's politicizing his own group, the Middle Village Maspeth Civic Association, may have made many council members uncomfortable. "Deep down, people are not comfortable when - in order to boost themselves, a person needs to put down others with personal attacks," he said. "Members of the council said loud and clear that they reject these tactics."
Dodo also pointed out that someone Gallagher had been outwardly attacking for over 2 years may now take his place. "The upcoming special election vote will be a clear sign that the community wants civility, not divisiveness," he said.





